Reflection

Several people have said they can't imagine what it's like going through what the 3 of us have gone through.  This blog will be an attempt to sum it all up.


On Friday, October 7, Mariah started having pain and called her obgyn's office and she was told she having round ligament pain.  At 4am on October 8 Mariah woke me up so I would go to the gas station and get her some Tylenol.  At 8 am she was still in pain and we decided to call the doctor's office again.  They called back at 9:15 and told us to go to McLeod.  When we got there Mariah was examined and she was told she was 5 cm dilated.  I went outside to call her mother and my mother and of course I was upset and I didn't want her to see me like that.  Later that day the NP from the NICU came in and explained what all could potentially happen to the baby.  Now I'm sitting in the corner and I hear this woman say he will need help to breathe and will be hooked up to a ventilator and there is the potential he could have cerebral palsy.  I can't tell you more than that b/c the whole monologue was upsetting.  At night, when there's no visitors, was by far the loneliest and most terrifying time because all there is istime to think what could happen.  For 2 full days this was our routine.  Mariah was constantly being pumped with drugs to hold the baby in and she couldn't eat and I had to give her ice chips b/c that was all she was allowed. 

On Monday October 10 Mariah was moved to another room.  Soon after Dr. Kolb came in and said she had to have the c-section now b/c there was a chance she could lose the baby.  When Mariah was rolled back to be prepped I was left standing the hall alone and trying to text as many people as I could before I could go in.  At 11:38 am our son Nicholas Uriah Baxley was born.  I tried to show Mariah a picture but she was too drugged up to focus.  Dr. Bridges, the NICU doctor who was at the delivery, said the reason why I didn't hear Nicholas crying was because his lungs weren't fully developed yet.  Then I got to take another picture of Nicholas before he was rolled away but he was in his incubator and was being given manual breaths.

For the next 2 months Nicholas was and on and off the conventional, Jet, and Oscillator ventilator.  He was given hydrocortisone and decadron steroids.  Time after time we were told this would be the dose that would get him off of the Jet or the Oscillator but it failed over and over.  The most devastating time was when they first brought the Oscillator out.  We thought Nicholas was through with the high powered vent. but he was not.  That was the first and only time I broke down at the NICU.  It was just so devastating to know he was so close to not needing as much help and then when I saw that I thought he might not make it.

Eventually Nicholas got off of the ventilators and went to SiPap and to the nasal cannula.  Then he got an infection on Christmas Eve night and I sat there and watched as different nurses kept stimulating him to try to get him to breathe.  He eventually needed the conventional vent. for 1 day but quickly got better as they started the antibiotics as soon as Nicholas started showing signs that he may have an infection.

Then we were thrown a curve ball and found out Nicholas had ROP and had to go to MUSC asap or he could eventually go blind.  When I told my supervisor what I was just told was as close as I've ever came to crying in front of anyone at work.  Like everything else so far the procedure has worked and since Nicholas came back from MUSC he has done nothing but improve.

In conclusion, we are about to go the NICU for 1 last night visit and time can not move fast enough.  Mariah and I have waited a long time for this to come and it is finally here.  I will post on here again when we bring our son home.